Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dreaming and Fear

This morning at 5 AM I was in the kitchen drinking coffee and preparing to do Yoga when all of a sudden I heard Ivy sing a verse of a song. I hesitated before I rushed in there.

I am a chicken.

It all started before I can remember. When I was little, we lived in a 5 room house. You could almost see every part of the house from any other part of the house. However, I could not walk from the living room through the lit house to go to the bathroom by myself. I trembled in fear of being alone in the bedroom connecting the two even though my mom could see me all the way.

I have been known to scream when I get scared, even if there is nothing to scare me. One time, I screamed in the shower and my husband came rushing in. "What??" he said, out of breath.

"Um, I thought I saw a shadow outside of the curtain?"

He shook his head. There's a heavy fabric curtain on the shower- there was no way I would see a shadow unless it was mine in the shower.

When I lived by myself, I used to shower with the curtain open so I could see the monster that was coming to kill me. I also used to sleep on the couch with every light on in the apartment and a knife on the coffee table. That is until I realized that if I was asleep, my unknown assailant could use the knife on me.

What does this have to do with Ivy singing in her sleep? Well, everything!

What if I walked in there and she was in some kind of possessed trance? If she was floating over the bed? If there was an evil ghost sitting on the bed making her sing in her sleep? If she opened her eyes and they were red?

See why I don't watch scary movies?

I summoned up my courage to walk in there finally (no knife in hand, aren't you proud of me?) and checked on her. She was still sleeping. No ghosts. No levitation. No red eyes. Just a dream.

2 comments:

Adrian said...

i got scared reading this. we must have had a very scary childhood.

tracee227 said...

Thank you for verifying it!!