Depression

I'm depressed.

But, like a good control freak, I've narrowed it down to a couple of things.

Maybe it's because LOST ended. I've been watching it since it started and now it's gone. Forever.

I don't think it hit me until last night. The finale was on TV on Sunday, but LOST usually came on TV on Tuesdays. And when Tuesday came and went with no new episode, then it finally sunk in. It's over.

Maybe it's my allergies? They are baaaad. I thought that by preemptively starting Claritin in February I might miss being sick this spring. And it held the pollen at bay for a while.....

But now it's come back with a venegance. My ear is clogged. I'm way too congested (I have no idea how I am even still breathing). And I am coughing.

But, then again, it could be the fact that our work email changed to a different provider.

It's so different. I don't think I like it. If you know me well, you know I hate change. Items I use everyday cannot be moved from their place, so something I use as frequently as email having a big change is enough to give me a panic attack. Or maybe just a general feeling of unease.

It's also a busy time of year. Maybe that's the reason?

Concerts, musicals, end of the year items, testing, Ivy's school activities, recitals, piano lessons....it's all amassing at the speed of light and I feel like I am barely floundering from one day to the next. I'm on a ship in the midst of a hurricane and I am trying to keep one hand on the rail. It's enough to bring me down.

Another reason: my house.

It's dirty. Messy. I keep killing spiders. The yard's not looking good. The laundry's not done. I think the kids only have one more pair of clean underwear. The trash smells. But, I'm so exhausted when I get home that nothing is getting done until school's out.

I'm just going to have to suck it up and get over it.