Hair Removal

***DISCLAIMER: If you are at all squeamish reading about my armpits or Nair, then please do not read past this point***

Since the second I started shaving, my armpits have waged war against me. Never did I have those seamless, beautiful under-arms that girls would proudly display by waving at a friend in a tank-top or raising their arms for a high five.

Instead, I was bestowed with red, angry, bumpy, splotchy armpits. At the ripe old age of eleven and a half, I spread shaving cream on them, applied the razor and voila: instant horror movie. They broke out within an hour and caused me such pain that I almost decided that shaving there was definitely against some Biblical rule.

As a result, I do not wave at anybody in a tank top. I have never high-fived anyone unless I was wearing sleeves.

I had the bright idea yesterday to attempt Nair, a special gel that was made for "super sensitive skin" like mine!!! It said, "Apply a thin layer, wait for five minutes, wipe the hair off." Sweet! Simple, right? And my armpits wouldn't get the chance to be freaked out by a razor! Finally, I would be able to raise my arms freely!

I showered. I squeezed a dollop of creme into my hand. I applied.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

The burning was unbearable!!!!!!! Sensitive skin, my butt!!! I thought. In my agony, my husband though he'd help by reading the label. "It says not to put on broken or irritated skin," he offered. When exactly was my skin there NOT irritated? I wondered.

I bravely waited the five minutes, and then screamed as I wiped it off. It was okay- a necessary step in my quest to have beautiful armpits, right? In a second I was going to look and see that it had all been worth it......

When I looked, the first thing I noticed was that the hair was.....still there. Then, I saw the angry red bumps that were now sprouting....way redder and angrier than I'd ever had. I reached for the lotion. Didn't help. I finally applied Neosporin+pain relief.

Today, I still have angry, red armpits. And hair. And I'm getting my wish for "waving at my friends" because I can't put my arm down.